I'm not entirely sure why you want me to discuss and explain the difference between choice and corruption, you're the person writing this story.
A dilemma is where you are in a situation where the two (or more, but vanilla dilemma is two) outcomes possible are equally undesirable. The differences between the outcomes could be personal or impersonal and how you choose between them can be viewed as pragmatism and practicality (choosing in a way that doesn't compromise your own ability to solve the undesirable situation that results) or as corruption (choosing in a way that benefits you unfairly) when in fact having to choose in that way isn't necessarily corrupt. When neither situation is pretty, but one allows you to solve the problem, choosing to benefit yourself isn't really corrupt so much as sensible, but of course, it could be exposited as such. When the two situations both benefit the protagonist in different ways, the lines between corruption and practicality begin to blur; you're really toying with the difference between choice and corruption because it's not possible to not be "corrupt" when the dilemma forces you to benefit. It's how you eventually peruse that benefit that dictates whether or not in the long run you've done things right.
I'm a little sceptical about how robust your ideas of executing some of the more complex concepts on this are, you do seem to be repeating a lot of the preordained or mentioned information within your explanations. It is base cynicism, my apologies, but it is a rather difficult thing to put ideas into practice. I've read a lot of good comments about what you're doing from a couple of members, they're impressed by your rebuttals and discussions. I'm not so sure about your explanations overall, some of them seem to repeat and reaffirm information rather than bring new points to the table, but as long as you can actually do your ambitions with this justice, I'll be satisfied. The concept is laudable. I'm less certain about some of the background, but that's personal taste, I don't usually dabble with magical girl anime, I prefer actual books, mostly historical or psychological discussions, so perhaps I missed a trick somewhere along the way. That said, don't disappoint, your ideas appear sound in the face of occasionally caustic questioning, I approve of how you hold your own here. It's rare that we have such budding writers and imaginers on this creative hellhole of a forum.
Re: Universal Lady Justice Aya
Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 2:01 am
by JameyoftheMegacosmos
Alright, just developed more on another character, Shizuko Ayumi. She becomes Aya's mentor for Part I.
Shizuko Ayumi was born in a wealthy, yet corrupt family infamous for exploiting financial systems. She was not accepted by society, especially at school, due to such infamy and disliked her rich livelihood. She eventually found a Hope Crystal and became a magical girl. However, his father, revealing to be part of the AMF, learned of this really soon and exiled her into the streets and threatened to have the AMF label her publicly as a fugitive if she spoke about her family's corruption and his involvement with the organization. She then spent her years wandering around cities, using her power to survive, and learning more as a magical girl while the AMF try to hunt her down. A barrier was overtime formed between her and nearly everyone else due to her past of unacceptance, her father's threat, and the fear of being set up by the AMF. Never less, she still looks for justice on such treatment, which later influences Aya's future actions.
Because of her past, she's is usually antisocial and silent towards others except for those she really trusts. Though she is very intelligent and a good strategist in battle, she is usually paranoid towards others who she doesn't know or trust since she always considers the risks first.
Her desire is to live a more resourceful and smarter life, so she could live more justly. From this desire, she has gain abnormal eyesight, hearing, and agility. She is also able to create sharp projectiles (needles, arrowheads, knives, etc.) and throw them with pinpoint accuracy. These of which are fast and sharp enough to pierce through light armor. However, she is weak at melee combat.
In Part I, Aya finds her getting attacked by robotic drones and AMF soldiers. When she realizes Aya's crystal, Shizuko tells her to use it. After Shizuko is knocked down on the ground, Aya uses the crystal to become a magical girl. Though Aya doesn't do much to fight, it distracts the AMF long enough for Shizuko to get back up and fight off the attack. After the battle, the magical girls greet and introduce each other. Over the section, Shizuko becomes Aya's mentor, new classmate, and teammate in battles. She even uses Aya's home as a safehouse from the AMF. As Aya learns of her new powers, she uses her subconscious-tapping ability on Shizuko first, learning of Shizuko's past and barrier between her and society. She also becomes an interest for John Livarre and the two are often rivals.
In the near end of Part I, Shizuko is labeled a wanted girl anyway with Aya as an associate. The AMF then storm Aya's house, seizing her mother, and the magical duo escape and go into hiding. Shizuko is still uncertain about the future between the two, but follows in Aya's decision that they should publicly face Ashley. This is due Aya believing Ashley is part of the AMF since she often mocked the pair, knows a lot a bout them, and gave them death threats the day before. The next day, the duo face Ashley publicly as magical girls and accuse her of fabricating Shizuko's criminal status. Ashley mocks them of this and denies it until Aya taps into her mind and reveals her association with the AMF and her jealousy. Ashley then loses control and fights the magical duo, calling in her Capital Weapon in the process (a giant helicopter) and revealing to be Ashley Haylon the Social, one of the AMF Commanders. While Aya is knocked down in the battle, Shizuko gets overwhelmed by Ashley. She is then impaled in front of Aya on top of the helicopter and she falls to the ground mortally wounded. Aya becomes crushed and Ashley continues to taunt her until more magical girls encountered before unexpectedly arrive to help. Now both hurt and angered by Ashley's cruelty, Aya uses her copied Shizuko form and her new allies to continue the fight, destroying Ashley's helicopter and finally defeating her. Aya then meets the mortally wounded Shizuko and the two share their admiration of each other. As the surrounding crowd becomes upset of her loss and begins to cheer a little for the two, Shizuko becomes happy, thanks Aya for her courage and trying to help her, and asks her to do the same for others before dying. Afterwards, Aya's copied form turns back to her original outfit, rendered unusable anymore now that Shizuko has died with no more regrets. She is later buried at Aya's school.
Re: Universal Lady Justice Aya
Posted: Fri Aug 10, 2012 2:08 pm
by JameyoftheMegacosmos
Here are just summaries for what I have so far for each of the five parts.
Part I: Aya Masa is a school girl who is often humiliated and harassed by the school's in-crowd leader and trendsetter. She also has problems with her friends and trying to understand their problems. She finds a Hope Crystal one day and a few days later, she encounters a magical girl (Shizuko) being attacked by robot drones and AMF soldiers. Though she is not much help when she transforms, she saves the magical girl and the two become friends. Now Aya must learn from her new friend as uses her new powers to break the social barrier separating her and understand her friends while struggling to survive against the AMF.
Villains: John Livarre, Ashley Haylon the Social
Part II: Trying to recuperate from her loss, Aya moves on with her new friends and united old ones. As they continue to fight against the AMF's more public attacks and are antagonized by the media, Aya learns more about being a magical girl and eventually tries to work in becoming a Lady Justice. Meanwhile, one of Aya's friends finds a wealthy, traditional classmate who was immediately yanked out of the school shortly after the battle against one of the AMF Commanders and decided look more into his problems, finding a big surprise along the way. In addition, a government official who also witnesses the same battle decides to have someone investigate on the matter.
Villains: John Livarre, Bernie Cooper the Economic, Bud Perry the Intellectual
Part III: With Aya now a Lady Justice and defeating two of their Commanders, taking away their major control of the media and corporate funding, the AMF find her a critical threat. They now label the magical girl group as a terrorist organization and unofficially declare martial law on Japan, occupying the country with a massive army and catching serious international attention. As the battles become more intense, new characters and previous enemies join the magical girls in their war against the occupying AMF forces. One of these allies, however, is a mysterious magical girl, who give warnings and has intentions involving Aya Masa.
Villains: John Livarre, Jaybow the Physical, Theseus Cartman the Emotional
Part IV: To stop the growing power of the magical girls, the AMF manipulate many countries to join their extermination, resulting in the declaration of World War III. In addition to the war, magical girls known as the The "Walled", magical girls who completely isolate themselves from the world and only fight for themselves, and "Destroyers", those take advantage of the powers and desires to cause more harm than good. Aya now not only must fight these new threats, but also her own problems and barriers set up by herself.
Villains: Bud Perry the Intellectual, Mitchel Graves the Political, David Hathorne the Religious, The Walled, Destroyers
Part V: As the war becomes apocalyptic, Aya now has serious trouble fighting the final commander, David Hathorne the Religious, and struggles greatly in finding the reason why. Never less, Luke Feral, the mastermind and true leader of the AMF, and his daughter become irritated and afraid of the magical girls' power and decides to start handling it themselves by spreading despair and annihilating the population. Once Aya finds her answers and truth, overcomes her personal barriers of doubt and fear, and discovering her true power and desire, she eventually becomes the most powerful Lady Justice and fights Luke Feral in a final battle to determine the fate of the universe.
Villains: David Hathorne the Religious, The Walled, Destroyers, Lucy Feral, Luke Feral
Re: Universal Lady Justice Aya
Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 4:28 am
by JameyoftheMegacosmos
There is one thing I may have trouble with and would be the theme song. Following my summary from the start of the topic, what is likely to be a good one? I'm not really good at finding songs in Japanese, though I know it may have to be one.
Re: Universal Lady Justice Aya
Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 8:41 am
by CoreShooter
Huge tip: Make own music
Re: Universal Lady Justice Aya
Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 12:00 pm
by Garoslaw
CoreShooter° wrote:Huge tip: Make own music
And then you realize Jamey is incapable of doing so.
lemme fix that
CoreShooter° wrote:Huge tip: Make others make music for you
Re: Universal Lady Justice Aya
Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 2:55 pm
by JameyoftheMegacosmos
Garoslaw wrote:
CoreShooter° wrote:Huge tip: Make own music
And then you realize Jamey is incapable of doing so.
lemme fix that
CoreShooter° wrote:Huge tip: Make others make music for you
Yeah, I'm not that good at making music, though I can tell if a song fits or not.
Anyon interested in this who may want to help? What may be a problem would be things like lyrics and how it would connect to the story.
Re: Universal Lady Justice Aya
Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 4:54 am
by JameyoftheMegacosmos
Summaries for the first two parts of the anime should be coming soon. Until then, here are new bios.
Kyoko Liu- A Chinese-Japanese boy, who is a friend of Aya. Part of a wealthy family, he was often made to be a violinist. Though he does have some interest in the violin, he finds something not right with the lifestyle he's put in, and a few times would have troubles with his parents. He goes out to find the answers why after becoming a magical boy.
Kyoko's desire when becoming a magical boy is make his parents understand his troubles. Out of his desire, he has gained powers of hypnosis and time manipulation, being able to slow and speed up time. His main weapon is a large violin bow that he uses as a sword with the string as the blade.
He is often frustrated and stressed about his workload set by his parents without knowing any reason why. After being a magical boy and learning more, he believes they are trying to put family and commercial success over everything else, which he (especially commercial success) believes is wrong. Though those are part of the reasons, his parents only do it because they wanted such work to help him later on in life (In contrast to one of the Commanders, Bud Perry, who does it more to the extreme out of mere obsession of his family name.) Never less, he cares a lot about his family, usually is a man of his word, and would fulfill any promise he makes, even if it is long overdue.
In Part I, there are some clues of his troubles, but he doesn't give enough information for Aya to understand. Once Aya is labeled as an associate of the so-called fugitive, Shizuko, he is angry at Aya for such a thing and breaks away from her. However, he comes back and like Aya's other two friends, reunites with her after knowing the truth during her battle against Ashley.
In Part II, Kyoko becomes a magical boy, hoping that it would help him understand his parents and help others. He first looks more on a wealthy schoolmate of his, who was immediately yanked out of the school after the battle against Ashley. After a few conversations and some espionage, Kyoko finds the schoolmate to be Bud Perry V, who has similar problems to him. After overhearing Perry V being sent to military camp by his father for trying to run away, Kyoko intervenes and unexpectedly confronts Bud Perry IV the Intellectual, one of the AMF Commanders. Though easily overpowered by the Intellectual, Kyoko does a quick win by hypnotizing him into forgetting his memories of his family name. Perry V and Kyoko then continue going to the same school together and becoming friends.
The remaining parts are not fully developed yet, but goes as follows for now:
In the remaining parts, Kyoko continues to fight against the AMF while trying to conceal his identity from his parents. However, the secret is exposed when Bud Perry IV (who still had some familiarity with Kyoko) regains his memories and attacks his home. Kyoko's parents becomes angry and broken when they learn about the trouble their son put himself into while he is forced to tell the truth. He forced to stay in his home and unable to do anything, even transform into a magical boy, until his parents are then abducted by the AMF. He then transforms and goes to assist Aya and her allies, hoping to rescue his parents. When he confronts Bud Perry on the top of the Intellectual's Capital Weapon (a flying carrier/battleship) after rescuing his parents, he uses the Commander as his reason to be against the lifestyle they put him in before (so they wouldn't be like Bud Perry's family). His parents then tell they were trying to PREVENT such a thing from happening and only wanted to do something to help their son in the future. After hearing this, he then continues to fight Bud Perry the Intellectual to finish what he started before with help from other magical girls including Aya. After Bud Perry's defeat, he resigns as a magical boy and continues his life as a violinist, which was part of a promise that he made before.
Before the beginning of the series, an advanced human-like civilization millions of years ago decided to make their world be governed by two opposite, but equal entities. To do so, they decided to harvest the omnipotent forces of Hope/Positivity and Despair/Negativity into two separate humanoid containers. Known as The Negative or Despair, Luke Feral was the container for the force of Despair while the force of Hope was contained in a female body only known as the Queen of Hope (Luke mostly calls her the Goddess of Hope). When he decided that he wanted to have the civilization ruled by only of the two with him being on top, his demands were turned down due to his opposite to Hope (naturally psychologically twisted, hungry and reckless with power, wanting to steal from others, boasting in who is superior, etc.) Luke got furious and used his power to corrupt the civilization and wage a civil war against Hope and her followers. He prevailed in destroying Hope's container and winning the war, but demands to have Hope stamped out completely from the universe. Ever since, he has been ruthlessly trying to destroy any traces and manifestations of Hope, especially in the form of magic. Most of these manifestations were known as Hope Crystals, to develop magical girls/boys who will fight Despair. His men researched and developed anti-magic to counter this out and has been halting advancement of and sometimes annihilating civilizations to keep them from growing too powerful. He found the highest concentration of Hope on Earth and given himself the name of Luke Feral when on the surface, monitoring it the most.
Luke is known to be a mentally twisted man. He is well-intentioned in eradicating magical girls to keep them and Hope from getting out of control, but also does it to keep his and Despair's power dominant in the universe. He secretly recruits many humans and their Commanders to do the work for him, but does things himself when he becomes too irritated at the situation. What's even worse is that he claims that he is real good guy, claiming that the universe would not exist without him.
Being a container for Despair, Luke has the ability to manipulate negativity in the universe as a dark entity, which he uses both as a weapon (in the forms of monsters, tentacles, hands, skulls, and faces) and to make weapons and other creatures. The greatest extent of his powers is nearly god-like.
Throughout the series, he is the main antagonist behind all the events of the anime. He becomes very interested in Aya, though he gets angered by her victories and his Commanders' humiliating failures.
In Part V, he starts taking matters to his own hands, sending large AMF fleets and forces to eradicate mankind or keep the magical girl problem from spreading. When his gambit fails and loses his daughter, he decides to fight her himself, telling her of his beginnings and well-intentioned goals first. Then, he transforms into a massive entity that occupies a huge chunk of the universe to become at least equal to Aya, who has gathered the powers of all the fallen good magical girls in the past who have regrets to become Universal Lady Justice Aya. During their battle, the two rapidly clash, shifting upper hands from time to time. Luke tries to destroy Aya's confidence saying he is the only thing keeping the universe alive and him being destroyed will result in its collapse. After when the battle is close to being finished, Aya recalls her memories and Luke's words, now accepting she can not destroy Luke completely. Yet, she absorbs some of Luke's despair and uses the force of both Hope and Despair to destroy Luke, claiming only Despair is one of the things keeping the universe alive and he is a mere image for it. He collapses after while telling Aya not to blame him for future as the Despair inside vanishes back into the universe.
After the battle, his laughing voice can still be heard while Despair manifests monsters, fallen magical girls, and evil influences. Despair's role in the universe now is to absorb the wicked magical girls into itself in the afterlife, where they are turned into distorted monsters of their subconscious back in the real world.
Lucy Feral was a miniature container made by Luke to serve as his daughter. Absorbing a Hope Crystal, she uses her magical girl abilities to cause more despair and support Luke's reign.
Lucy is often emotionless and feels only despair. She does have an interest in Aya, seeing her as a goddess or the new incarnation or container for Hope, wanting to corrupt her into working for her father. She is also very obedient towards others, though she is also power hungry and would take power from those who resist or abandon the AMF.
Like Luke, Lucy is capable of manipulating despair as a black entity, though it also has a mind of its own. She can use it to devour other Hope Crystals, which she consumes as her food source, and other magical items and girls/boys to gain their powers. She can also leech into people's minds with her entity and either corrupt them into siding with the AMF or tear them apart psychologically.
She is first found in Part III, seeing the growing activity between the magical girls and AMF. She is not seen having any major role when with his father, but sees Aya as an interest. Disguising herself with a torn pale green-hooded jacket, she instigates Aya and often gives her forewarnings when they approach.
In Part IV, she voluntarily serves herself as a Commander during her reign, switching with the role of instigator often. Because of this, Aya begins to realize something is wrong her newcomer. She also confronts Livarre, who has sided with the magical girls to avoid his unjust execution by Luke Feral. She luckily avoids Livarre sniper rounds, mortally wounds him quickly, and her entity consumes his body.
In Part V, Lucy attacks Aya when she removes her green-hooded disguise after helping in defeating the last Commander, David Hathorne the Religious. During the attack against the rest of mankind and magical girls, the two then fight each other. After a while, Lucy Feral then grabs hold of Aya and taps into her mind. Aya then finds herself back where she smashed two of her "walls" in her mental landscape, with Lucy's grief entity surrounding. Aya then begins to run back to the center of her landscape as the grief entity closes in. Lucy then uses Aya's memories of helping others who eventually were killed and those who became Destroyers to convince her to help the AMF and evil magical girls. Aya, still indecisive, is then seized at the center of her mental landscape and walls, now forced by Lucy whether to be killed or accept Lucy's power, which would eventually corrupt her completely. When still she refuses to choose, even when torn apart, Lucy tries to force the corruption. However, John Livarre unexpectedly gains the strength to maintain individuality and disrupt Lucy's control in Aya's mind. Livarre then taunts Lucy for her actions in contrast to the usual magical girl, using her magic to take the easy way out in things and causing more harm than good, and declares that she is therefore not fit to be a magical girl herself. This eventually influences Aya to recall memories on such situations and gains the courage to believe that she should only help those who deserve it. She uses her new confidence as power to break free of Lucy's grief entity destroys it and the remaining walls completely from her landscape. Now free, she does the final blow to Lucy, obliterating her into a black entity that slowly vanishes.
John Livarre- A high-ranking member of the AMF, known for his sharpshooting skills and experience in hunting magical girls. He was born in an impoverished family and lived in a place infested by despair. Because so, he was very used to despair and psychological stress. He trained himself at shooting and weapon wielding and worked seriously hard as a way to get on top. When old enough, he eventually was covertly taken by the AMF, which made him a soldier and eventually an officer. Though he had several rough moments before, he's been keeping his loyalty to the AMF ever since.
Livarre is usually a man who prefers to work hard, not relying on chance, miracles, or help from everyone. He claims technology to be superior due to his dislike of magic. Though he does not have anything against magical girls, he dislikes how they put so much trust in their magic they do try to learn about reality, always using it to take the easy way out on things, and sometimes taking advantage of it to cause more harm than good.
Livarre doesn't have supernatural abilities of his own, but he's very good at shooting and close combat weapons such as swords. He's capable to understanding and handling situations very well and can take on a few magical girls on his own. His most common weapon is a high caliber bolt action sniper rifle (carrying a large variety of ammunition) and a katana.
In Part I, he is introduced a while into the series attempting to snipe Shizuko and Aya. Shizuko already knew he was there and he and the few robot drones appear in front of them. After being surprised by Aya's power transform into other magical girls, he flees from the scene. He is mostly a rival to Shizuko, but becomes interested in Aya overtime.
In Part II, Aya becomes Livarre's next target after Shizuko's death and the two become aggressive rivals, even showing it in the more public battles. When Aya and some of her allies find and attack the headquarters of Bernie Cooper the Economic, he follows them and attacks them from behind. He is beaten once again and after Bernie is defeated, he is taken by the AMF to Luke for his failures.
In Part III, Luke shows Livarre the whole history of the AMF as well as his reasons for exterminating magical girls and Hope. Showing this, Luke hopes that Livarre would be heavily determined to use his last chance to kill Aya and her allies. However, a while after his last fight with Aya, he is convinced that what he is doing is wrong. He and his branch in the AMF abandon Luke's cause and assist the magical girls after.
In Part IV, Livarre assists the magical girls in the now global war against the AMF with his knowledge of their weapon systems and tactics. In the near of the part, he leaves to do a "final mission" before retiring by finding and killing Lucy, who is another leader in the war. He finds and nearly succeeds in killing her with one of his Feedback Rounds, but Lucy consumes it and then Livarre after mortally wounding him.
In Part V, Livarre remains trapped in Lucy's grief entity until she tries to psychologically corrupt Aya. Livarre then gains the strength to regain control and interfere with Lucy before she could succeed. He shows that out of all the magical girls he has hunted and fought, even with Aya, he had no real hard feelings against them. Then, he taunts Lucy for being what he despises the most about magic and claims her unfit to be a magical girl (Final quote to Lucy: "Why should Aya help you? You're not even FIT to be a magical girl!"). His words motivate Aya to break free from the attempted mind control. He signals a farewell to Aya with her new confidence before vanishing back int other grief entity she destroys Lucy and is suspect to have died right after.
Re: Universal Lady Justice Aya
Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 12:42 pm
by ShadowSpectre
I find it funny that you think spoilers are important at this point in time.
Re: Universal Lady Justice Aya
Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 1:10 pm
by JameyoftheMegacosmos
ShadowSpectre wrote:I find it funny that you think spoilers are important at this point in time.
Yeah, especially since there's no point in telling the story if I already tell everything that happens next. Especially since it may change over time.
Neverless, what DO you think of my new characters as of right now. I have plenty more, but still need things like names.